The Smallest of Things
by Atheniandream
Summary: All you need, is the smallest of things to keep you going...


Title: The Smallest of things  
Author: atheniandream/Jawbreakerchick/Paisleychick, my alter egos :)  
Email: atheniandream@aol.com  
Content Warnings: Angst, Romance, other stuff, bad character issues......say no more.  
Pairings: Sam/Jackish kinda  
Spoilers: About every episode that's s/j, although now spoilers for 6  
Season: future  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: All you need, is the smallest of things to keep you going....  
Author's notes: Bad day, and listened to really sad song. go figure, NOT A SONG FIC!!!  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of   
Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA,  
Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is   
for entertainment purposes only and no money  
exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original   
characters, situations, and story are the property  
of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the   
consent of the author.  
The Smallest of things  
========================  
  
She stood up to join them.  
  
Taking in the atmosphere. Indescribably calm. She took her hands out of her coat pocket.  
  
"Jack,"  
  
It cut to listen to her mouth, saying those words.  
  
They cut like ice. Harsh and blinding.  
  
"I will love-"  
  
She stopped, laughing dryly at her contemplative self.  
  
"I will love the fact that you wanted me-"  
  
She stopped again.   
  
Holding back.  
  
"You, wanted to spend your life with me."  
  
She clenched the flower in her hand. Crushing it lightly under the pressure of her cold hands.  
  
"I will love that you never gave up on loving me,"  
  
Her lip trembled, although she continued.  
  
"I will never," Waves of panicked tears. "I'll never forget you smile. You didn't smile often.   
But when you did, we all knew that you were happy."  
  
Two men joined her behind. She waved off their pained expressions.  
  
They *couldn't* help.  
  
She had to do this.  
  
"I, we will love the memory of you. You kept us sane Jack. You lead us. You were the only one   
who could lead.  
I'd want anyone else to."  
  
She looked up at the people around her, uncaring of her appearance and for once, she didn't   
hold back.  
  
"I will love you." she knelt down, feet crumbling under the pressure.  
"I will never love anyone the way that I love you. I never told you. And I wanted you to know."  
  
"That I will love you."  
  
Now barely standing, she looked at the faces that encircled them.  
An unknown sea of faces.  
  
She turned to her father briefly, a knowing look that he gave her.  
  
He never knew?  
  
But it didn't matter.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
It was purely a reflective statement.  
  
Ripped and tattered around the edges.   
  
It didn't hold the significance that it once did.  
  
  
Her glassy vision spied the only people that mattered now.  
  
Janet, Cassie, Hammond, Teal'c and Jonas, all around them, equal as struck and silent.  
  
She didn't have to look far for the sixth face.  
  
Still the same child-like and honest.  
  
A little older maybe,  
But just as glazed and pearly blue as her.  
  
And he already had his arms around her.  
  
Together they stood, almost apart from the rest.  
  
"I never forget you. None of us will."  
  
  
Amidst her silent tear, someone wandered quietly behind the mourning crowd.  
His hair lightly driven by the breeze encircling him.  
  
Apart from the rest, he watched. Seeing the hurt and pain pour out of them like they were water.  
The love that they had.  
  
And her.  
  
Crying.  
  
"I love you."   
  
Her gaze became interrupted, merged maybe.  
  
She quickly parted from the crowd, pulling aimlessly from her friend's arms.  
  
To see a man, standing from the rest.  
  
Wavering footsteps under a tree.  
  
Hands in pockets, and a smile.  
  
Slightly crooked.  
  
Completely warm.  
  
She ran, her face flooded, but her heart never giving up.  
  
It was never going to.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
Her eyes wider than he'd ever seen.   
  
He could see, for once how much she wanted him to be there.  
  
With her.  
  
The smile waned, looking at her.  
  
But he didn't advance.  
  
No good-bye. No 'I love you'.  
  
Just turning, out of reflection and into the wind.  
  
"I........" She stopped again.  
  
Closing her eyes, letting the ever-growing wind take her breath away.  
  
She forgot where she was.  
  
"Because I care about her-Keep me apprised-Yea, I miss him-I need you-I can't do this-So   
this is it-I can't keep feeling like this-I'm lost without you Carter-Sir-Stop calling me   
Colonel-Sam-you're going to be fine-Sam, it doesn't look good-You *have* to help him-I'm   
sorry-What-Oh my god......"  
  
And for a split second, a fraction even.  
  
She felt him.  
  
And his smile.  
  
Wrapping around her, loving and secretive.  
Just like him.  
  
'I love you'  
  
I never stopped, Carter.  
  
=======================================================  
Sometimes, the smallest of things in the world, can sustain your heart forever.  
The smallest of things, can make you hold on.  
Just enough.  
Just a little longer.  
=======================================================  
  
Athena  
  
FEED BACK APPRECIATED :) 


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